When I started this blog over a year ago I made it for myself, for the people who I had left behind at home, and for friends to keep up with me and my travels. Writing on a blog a few times a week was easier than texting the many people who wanted to know what I was up to.
After taking a hiatus I came back with my fingers crossed that writing in the blog would stick and I wouldn’t give up on it as I had in the past. I found a new blogging community, ways to meet fellow bloggers, and watching my stats rise excited me and kept me writing. Today, I’m writing at least 4/7 days a week and have about 50 blogs I try to read each day as well.
But my expectations of what having a blog would be like are VERY different from the reality of it.
Expectation- I would always have something to write about. Reality- Nope. Some days I stare at the screen and then exit out of the page.
I usually pre-plan my blog topics. The days on which they will post usually isn’t planned but I always have a couple drafts up and ready to be published. Sometimes they just don’t feel right and I try to come up with something that someone will want to read and sometimes it just doesn’t happen…and that is ok.
Expectation- Only my friends and family would read my blog. Reality- Strangers read my blog!
This came as a huge shock to me! I created my blog for myself, my family and my friends. I wanted it to be an online diary with my actual feelings about events and that’s how it started, but then I noticed that people I don’t know in real life were reading my blog and I began to censor myself. I don’t mind that I don’t personally know every single reader (obviously, I HAVE AN ONLINE BLOG) but I began to keep some things to myself and not divulge my deepest darkest thoughts. I do regret this to an extent, as it would be nice to go back in time and read what was going through my head.
Once I learned that other people had interest in what I was writing in this space, I realized I could potentially make money through sponsorship options. This led me to….
Expectation- It would be easy to make money through my blog. Reality- IT IS NOT!
I thought if I made my blog fancy, made some connections, got my stats up it would be easy as pie. I was so very wrong. If you read some of the veterans posts about how they got their blog to 10,000 viewers a day it was by accident. They were writing from their heart about things they cared about and it all kind of fell in their lap.
I was recently given a quote for $400 to switch my blog over to my own domain and then do the design for it. $400 is insane when I don’t know for sure if I would be able to make that money back or how long it would take.
I started to lose sight of why I made this blog in the first place- to talk about my day, my life and what makes my world go round. I want my readers who don’t know me personally to be able to gain something from each blog post. That’s why I include recipes that I enjoy and DIY projects and restaurant reviews of places nearby. But I think sometimes it would be ok to be honest and talk about my life and my feelings in that moment. I mean, it is MY blog after all…
My goal for 2014 and this blog is to become more candid. I’m not giving everyone my address or anything crazy like that but it wouldn’t kill me to divulge a little more information. How else can I open up to my readers and make real life connections with my fellow bloggers? So to start it off I’m going to take an idea that my old roommate (and once upon a time blogger) used on her page.
I confess… that I ate 7 Hershey Kisses today and I’m not mad at myself. I am however going to schedule a dentist appointment in the near future.
I confess… in the past year and a half since I’ve lived in Baltimore I may have driven through the city ten times without cursing other drivers and their skills.
I confess..I have never felt this way about anyone until now. I try to enjoy each moment but a small part of me is fearful that if I blink it will all go away. I’ve known many people who had something wonderful taken from them before they were ready and I know many people who have had a lifetime of happiness. I have no reason to worry and can’t live my life not enjoying what’s right in front of me…but sometimes I worry.
I confess… I miss my parents everyday and wish they lived closer. Usually people my age are happy to get away and have their independence but I miss sitting on the couch on a Saturday night eating popcorn and watching a movie with them.
I confess…I would rather stay home than get dressed up and be bumped into by sloppy drunk girls.
I confess… I want the proposal youtube phase to go away. I love the creativity and used to think that’s what I wanted one day but we are living in a world where too many people put their energy towards the wrong elements of a marriage and crumble. Planning an elaborate proposal because you are truly, madly, and deeply in love with someone is different than doing the most outrageous proposal for the youtube hits.
I confess… I hate getting my nails done, it hurts.
I confess…that hitting the publish button seems daunting after typing all of this…