As promised I am continuing on with the list of tasks. Today’s task is to list three fears I have and to explain why they are fears. I spent an hour last night jotting down notes and trying to come up with the top 3. I was surprised while doing this exercise because I found that there are no solid reasons for some of my fears.
Top 3 Fears:
- Storms- I remember being maybe 5 years old and staying with my Mommom while my parents went to an event. It started to rain, then the lightning and thunder hit. The rain was pounding against her screen door and the trees were swaying and bending in the wind. I sat in her lap while she rocked me back in forth trying to cover her own fear, but not successfully. She was the strongest woman I had ever met and knowing that she was scared in that moment made me fearful of what would happen. She used to tell stories of a ball of electricity that came into her old farmhouse through an electrical socket during a storm. She had every right to be scared of storms, but her fears were then instilled in me and have grown with me as I’ve gotten older. My fear of storms has grown further into the fear of tornadoes. They can come without warning and destroy anything in their path, they terrify me. Unless I am snuggling with someone who is calm, I am a wreck during all storms. I want so badly to appreciate their beauty and feel at ease sitting on a front porch watching the lightning light up the sky, maybe with time….
- The Future- I’m excited for the future but scared at the same time. I am 22 years old, fresh out of college, living in a big city, and working in my dream field. I don’t want to settle down and get married, have responsibility, and a family. I want that…someday. I feel like every time I get on facebook another one of my friends is engaged or pregnant. I commend them for living their own lives and doing what they want, its just not for me. I want to work hard, move farther with my career, travel and see the world. I’d be happy settling down in a few years, but right now I want to focus on my life.
- Vomit- This is a completely irrational fear and I recognize that. If I see someone vomit, smell it, or hear it, I will throw up. My fear is so bad that I am fearful of flying because I am scared I will get motion sickness and throw up. The fear of embarrassment plays a large part in it. Hopefully someday this fear will go away!
Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.